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The kindness of difficulties

A thought that haunts many people in the world is – “Why should there be so much unkindness in the world? Many people wonder why life is so difficult. Is there a hidden purpose behind this or is life simply a series of accidental events?” 

My simple response to these questions would be to see life as a purposeful phenomenon, and not as a random sequence of accidents. But to do this we have to understand that life has challenges, and to see the meaning of difficulties in life. The only way we can erase the pain faced by the so-called difficult challenges in life, is by converting unkindness to kindness. This is an eraser we need to hold on to, one we should not lose.

You may immediately ask, “Swamiji, how will I erase these difficulties?” But please understand, life is not going to be according to your likes and dislikes. The river is not going to flow according to your wishes. The rise and the ebb of sea waves are not determined by the wishes of those using its waters. The sun is not going to rise or set according to your imagination.

The real wisdom of life lies in choosing to swim or surf when the waves are favourable. It lies in working and resting, in harmony with the day-night cycle. The waves are not cruel or unkind to the surfer or swimmer. In fact, the higher the waves, the greater is the surfer’s joy. But these high waves can be seen as dangerous by a swimmer. It all depends on how you look at it. Look around and you will realize that nature by itself is neither kind nor cruel.

A beautiful way to look at life is to thus look upon difficulties as nature’s acts of kindness. In the face of difficulties, we develop survival skills that otherwise would lie dormant. It is much like the sweat and fatigue of weight-training that leads to people developing tough muscles. In fact, life would be terribly dull if everything went according to a pre-written script.

Most of the negative feelings we associate with difficulties are of our own making due to a lack of wisdom about life. We perceive a situation as difficult, and thus the situation shows up as difficult. But to a hunter who associates a sense of adventure with venturing into the forest and encountering dangerous animals, hunting appears as a fun activity. The thrill appeals to him! Similarly, we need to develop the skills to work with difficulties and challenges to make life work for us. 

Let me give you a story about working in this way. There was once a king who had a son with intellectual challenges. He tried his best to make him worthy of his future role, but the little prince did not seem to improve. One day the little prince fancied himself to be a hen. He sat under a table and took his clothes off. When he was asked to come out, he refused and said, “I am a hen.”

A saint offered to cure the little prince of this madness. The king had some misgivings because the saint looked to be quite out of his mind too! But, as he had no choice, the king decided to give the saint a chance. The saint took off his clothes and joined the little prince under the table. The prince said, “I am a hen. Don’t sit next to me.” The saint replied, “I am also a hen, but those people out there don’t realize that we are hens.” He slowly built a rapport with the little prince. Then, the saint put on his clothes and asked the little prince to do likewise. He then planted the idea that as wise hens, they should share the wisdom of life with others. The little prince felt convinced and followed the saint out. The saint took his seat at the dining table and made the little prince eat, saying they had to prove that hens could do everything that human beings could. Thus, step-by-step, the saint brought the little prince back into normalcy.

Our minds are like the little prince. Little by little, we need to be drawn out of our old mindset. The belief that difficulties are bad or that we have failed as people if we experience difficulties does not help us. It is an old way of thinking. We need to learn how to be a wise surfer in the wild waters of the world. When we use every difficulty as an opportunity, we are able to see the kindness of life. Then, we stop seeing an unkind world and start seeing kindness everywhere, allowing us to truly grow as people.

 

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